Hello!
I really love writing in short sentences, Sergio Ramos (and, by default, rooting for Real Madrid), and obsessively keeping my email count at 0. I'm also very clumsy, but I guess that's not really a hobby and just a curse.
Love this song because there are two particular lines that speak to me/describe me. RIP Amy.
What is the best way to move to Europe? Where can I find a European man to marry me? At Stamford Bridge? At the Santiago Bernabéu? And, are those places hiring?! Does anybody seriously know?
PS. Now that Florence ousted the cat out of its bag, and so that Togan will stop thinking I’m so “mysterious”, which I actually don’t mind!, I might as well announce it on a public level: I’m moving to San Francisco-ish a week from now and am moving in with my brother from another mother! Goodbye, LA!
(Sorry, Kelsey, but you’re not living with us.)
—-Edit/O MY B—- This picture is a shopped photo of (L -> R) me, Brittany, and Kelsey as Snooki, Sammi Sweetheart JWoww, and JWoww Sammi Sweetheart. I don’t dress like that at all in real life, but can’t say the same for my compadres…
If you know me, you know that my current BFF4L is a 10-year-old named Niko, who coincidentally is my cousin and with whom I spend all my time.
ANYWAY, Niko is pretty cool and probably is the smartest kid I know on the block. Because he’s really smart for his age (don’t tell him I said that), he knows a lot more than the average kid. For example, the other day, we had a conversation like this one, which happens regularly, by the way:
Niko: Who is that?
Me:This guy named Anderson Cooper—
Niko: Oh! The guy that was laughing like a weirdo on his show about Gerard Depardieu!
Me: …How did you know that?
Niko: I heard it on NPR.
So going on, some of the jokes (and stuff he talks about) is above the average fifth grader, and we literally were cracking up recollecting our experience shopping yesterday. (It’s important to note how shocked the saleswoman was because she did not know Niko was kidding):
Niko (modeling on all the clothes at Kate Spade to me and the saleswoman): Look at me! I’m a girl! No, I am bisex!
Me: You mean “bisexual”.
Niko (shouting): Yes! I AM A BISEXUAL!
Saleswoman: …Oh, my.
He also insisted that his mom and I put makeup on him at Sephora. The funny thing is that Niko is not gay (since he yaps about all the girls he has crushes on), but I am telling him that I would totally not be shocked if he did come out the closet.
Hard to believe that, after seeing him nearly everyday for the past 8 months, I won’t be able to starting next week!
- Man at the postoffice: Ooh! I love your necklace! And, your haircut, you look like a movie star! Man, if I were 25... I'm like 55!
- Me: Aw, thank you.
- Man (to his Asian coworker): That's probably what you looked like when you were 25, no?
- Woman: No! She's prettier. (Eyes the ring on my ring finger.) Are you married?
- Me: No! Hahaha, no, no, no!!
- Man: Are you kidding me? A boyfriend? She's probably a player, playing all the guys! Don't you? You're probably like "O, heyyyyy, wasssssssup?"
- Me: Hahaha, that's kind, but DEFINITELY NOT.
Some crafty Redditor made this in response to Alexis Madrigal’s story on graphing calculators. We salute you, joshszman09.
Wow, these women are totally fucking badass. I want to be like them when I get older!
I met a set of Australian twins over the weekend, and this is a picture of one of them:
Kelvin upon finding out that I’m a Madridista: Remember when Busquets did this?!
I actually do! Is this the same team that everyone says has “finesse”? #justcurious
They say that blood runs thicker than water and that family should come first. Why? Because you it’s true:
Me: Guess what song I’m listening to right now?
Brittany: Ugh… Edge of Glory?
Me: Yep!!! I’m also singing along to it with my bedroom window open. I should stop.
Brittany: Isn’t your cousin home?
Me: No, and I would still sing it in front of her anyway because she doesn’t judge me like you and Kelsey.
My friends are assholes!
